Sunday, March 8, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: The Humanoid(1979)
Tonight's Stinker
The Humanoid(1979)
https://youtu.be/vq4V0L1OLMM?si=VrCSsCxE4yvyuuZs
In the distant future, Earth is renamed & under some sort of monarchy... The evil brother of the leader (a cheap knock off or Darth vader, with a mask that look like he got it a a bondage shop) has raised an army & has returned from exile to steal a bioweapon & kill a female scientist (Corinne Cléry)..... Clery's gets a call from an Asian kid she's taking care of, who has psychic powers, who tells her to come home, so the bad guys miss her....
Meanwhile, somewhere in deep space, a pilot (Richard Kiel, with a beard) is stuck on an outdated ship that just blew it's navigation & communication systems... He sees the bad guy's ship & decides to follow it....
The bad guy gets back to his base, run by an evil queen (Barbara Bach), & give the bioweapon to a scientist, who captures the pilot & turns him into Richard Kiel, without a beard, who is now laser proof with super human strength.....
They bad guys send him back to Earth, where he grabs guards & throws them around, but the Asian kid uses his psychic powers to turn him back into a good guy....
An awful lot is packed into this movie, so it never gets dull (for me at least)... The sets & miniatures are pretty impressive... Many references to Star Wars... Manages to stay pretty goofy...
Saturday, March 7, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: The Aftermath(1982)
Tonight's Stinker
The Aftermath(1982)
https://youtu.be/WMvEgm_DRqQ?si=FDD7mLhwgNJpuDML
A group of astronauts on their way back home can't get in touch with mission control... Cut to a bombed out earth, where Sid Haig runs a gang that kills men & keeps all the women as slaves....
The astronauts decide to ditch their spaceship in the ocean off the coast of California for best visibility, but only two survive, & no one notices... Later that night, the pair gets attacked by mutants, & the next day, they find Los Angeles destroyed; WW3 happened while they were gone....
They find a mansion & settle in, & later one of them changes into some army fatigues & goes out to see if anyone's left... In a museum, he finds a dying curator who leaves him with a young boy...
Meanwhile, one of Haig's slave girls escapes...
Feels pretty long & meandering, driven by the one astronaut's superfluous narrative.... The first hour is mostly set up before getting in a feud with Haig's gang, leading to a painfully long showdown....
Sorta plays out like like the pilot for a Canadian TV show, even with the sex & violence, all of which is blurred out, & the film turns to black & white every time there's blood in the scene...
Sunday, March 1, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Motorcycle Gang (1957)
Tonight's Stinker
Motorcycle Gang (1957)
https://youtu.be/QD2vdbdgdig?si=kh75-kuHWr7BIaCH
A pair of girls on dirt bikes get in a race with some other dirt bikers, attracting a cop car... After ditching the cops on a dirt road, one of the girls takes a spill, & one of the guys tries unsuccessfully to get in her pants, but she beats him up as the others arrive.... Somehow, they hit it off....
Later that night at the gang's hangout, their old leader shows up looking to kill the new leader after doing prison time for killing a pedestrian, and he's not too wild about the gang now being part of a legitimate racing club...
The new girl in town decides to play the field, while the good boy biker dreams of being really good at bike racing, & the bad boy works at ruining it for him...
Not too time consuming, but feels pretty grating (or maybe that's just the crick in my neck).....
Sunday, February 22, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Equalizer 2000 (1987)
Tonight's Stinker
Equalizer 2000 (1987)
https://youtu.be/U7aoFhwNjbA?si=og4M0MMeUnsXn7S7
So, a hundred years after world war 3, Alaska is now a desert, and all the oil is controlled by "The Ownership", a militant government... Meanwhile, they have to deal with rebels...
Not wasting any time with story, Slade, who works for The Ownership, follows a group that's sent out to rescue his father from a rebel attack.... But when they get there, an overly ambitious lieutenant betrays the others in hopes of making room for a promotion, while the rebels capture Slade....
Slade escapes, & rescues a woman from some mercenaries, & she takes him to a camp of "Other" rebels who want to be left alone, where he builds a gun with a dozen barrels on it, which not only gives him superior firepower, but also gives him the ability to stand out in the open while shooting....
There's also a group of local indians who fight to be left alone....
Fast paced, & as I said earlier, doesn't waste much time on story, making for a fun watch....
Saturday, February 21, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: The Stranger and the Gunfighter(1974)
Tonight's Stinker
The Stranger and the Gunfighter(1974)
https://youtu.be/qrfK_6dfT2U?si=eJmNE26N1rJuoKE9
Lee Van Cleef is a safecracker in the old west, who accidentally kills a rich Chinese investor who leaves tattoos on the rear-ends of prostitutes.... Inside the safe, Van Cleef finds nothing but the pictures of four prostitutes, and promptly gets arrested....
Cut to China, Lo Lieh is a Kung Fu master who's about as convincing a the Power Rangers at a wrestling match... He's arrested & told his uncle is dead, & the money he was given by the government has disappeared...He's given a year to find the money or his family dies....
Lieh arrives in America just in time to talk to Van Cleef, & rescues him from the gallows....,
It's obvious early on that the tattooed derrieres are part of a puzzle, so it's a quest to find the four posteriors...
However, a psychotic priest catches on, & hires a fighter of his own......
Interesting mashup of the two genres, particularly towards the end, as most of the first hour is about butt jokes & culture clashes...
Some of the aforementioned jokes are well timed & got a giggle or two outa me, albeit, some of the racial tropes are a bit dated.....
Sunday, February 15, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: I Wonder Who's Killing Her Now?(1975)
Tonight's Stinker
I Wonder Who's Killing Her Now?(1975)
https://youtu.be/W0vNw0klxeY?si=V2s9HJavxGTKbxkJ
A rich ne'er-do-well loses his job after being caught embezzling, and is given thirty days to pay the money back... He then goes home to his rich wife, only to discover she wants a divorce, with alimony....
After a while, his les than helpful psychiatrist puts the idea of killing his wife in his head, and he sets out to find a hitman... Eventually, he settles for a simpleton with gambling debts.... Unfortunately, the next day, he learns the insurance policy he took out on his wife is null....
He tries to stop the hit, but the simpleton subcontracted the work, as did the subcontractor, as did a litany of subcontractors, so he has to follow his wife to Las Vegas with a group of idiots to find the hitman....
Lots of frantic energy from the lead, which gets exhausting at times, but works out... Some characters play like college students who saw an SNL sketch & thought they could stretch it out for ninety minutes, but it also has plenty of Python-esque moments that get a good laugh....
Saturday, February 14, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Monster a Go-Go(1965)
Sooo, I was gonna watch something in memory of Bud Cort, but changed my mind.....
Tonight's Stinker
Monster a Go-Go(1965)
https://youtu.be/btJoXBIv2SI?si=_eYLD5jjmOkHKPJ9
So, the army's out looking for a lost space capsule, and find it with the astronaut missing.... Turns out, he's soaked up a lot of radiation, lost his mind, and can kill people by touching them, and the army has to find him before he gets too radioactive....
Also, a subplot about a pair of uncommunicative scientists who caused it....
Drags at points, but also has plenty of riffable moments, with an ending that defies suspension of disbelief!!
Sunday, February 1, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Adios Compañeros(1971)
Tonight's Stinker
Adios Compañeros(1971)
https://youtu.be/CmPzeBsyt1w?si=u35uIraWFdJl34S7
The Wild Bunch are lost in the desert, no food, horses or ammo, when the spot another gang on the run...
They kill the gang for their stuff, but Macho plays dead... Later on, Butch Cassidy & Ironhead get in a disagreement over splitting the money, & butch screws him & several others out of their share...
Meanwhile, Macho is taken in by a good Samaritan... After recovering, he heads to the next town, where he wins a new revolver in a game of horse shoes, gets in a bar fight, & wins the respect of Buck, who invites him to join a robbery....
The robbery is planned by Ironhead, who now in the business of sending other people out to do his dirty work, then killing them, while sending bounty hunters to find Butch & Sundance... This puts Macho closer to revenge...
Steady pacing, one riffable moment, with a disco-muzak soundtrack...
Saturday, January 31, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Hell's Angels '69(1969)
Tonight's Stinker
Hell's Angels '69(1969)
https://youtu.be/-oUZUFs6KIo?si=iNNIwg62OUg-DWQP
Two brothers, a pair of '60s mods ditch their haughty hippie party at a swank hotel, head back to their mansion, where they change into their poser suits & ride out on Harleys...
The next town over, they goad a car into running one of them off the road, a ruse to get the attention of some local Hell's Angels, who invite them to ride along, trade a girl for a pack of cigarettes, & talk about their next ride.... The two brothers talk the bikers into going to Las Vegas, where they plan to trick the bikers into starting a scene outside Caesars Palace while they rob the place...
The heist goes off without a hitch, but afterwards, everything that can go wrong does....
Remastered audio, mostly the music & sound effects, witch distracts from the dialog at times...
Lots of bikers misbehaving to fill the runtime, but starts getting tense toward the end, and the director makes good use of the dessert scenery at the end....
Friday, January 30, 2026
Thursday, January 29, 2026
Sunday, January 25, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Avengers Grimm: Time Wars(2018)
Tonight's Stinker
Avengers Grimm: Time Wars(2018)
https://youtu.be/5wFpGlAYtC8?si=FmS89Sb5mmxaLylh
Fairy tale characters Alice (through The Looking Glass), Snow White, Red Riding Hood & Sleeping Beauty are butt kicking girl bosses who work for A group that tries to keep fairy tale characters from destroying the world....
Magda, queen of Atlantis has followed an escaped Prince Charming to the modern world, sends fish men to destroy the city, and manages to send the girls back to fairy tale land, from which they must escape & stop Magda from marrying Prince Charming...
Pretty fast paced action comedy....
The first half feels pretty convoluted & confusing, but starts to make sense after a while...
Sorta plays out like an unsold television pilot...
Saturday, January 24, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: She Devils on Wheels (1968)
Tonight's Stinker
She Devils on Wheels (1968)
https://youtu.be/jkvglNHlpdw?si=DdjQSsfdJmuZbayy
And boy, what a stinker! Plot? What plot?
The Maneaters, an all female biker gang gets together for a race, & the winner gets to pick out her stud for the evening..... They go back to their pad & mayhem ensues, but the next morning, there's an issue with one of the girls wanting to go steady with one of the studs (against the rules)... Later that night, they force her to torture the boy she likes....
Then there's the matter of one of the girls completing her initiation....
At the halfway point of this movie, an all male hot-rod car gang tries to take over the abandoned flat top they use to race..... The girls kick their butts, the guys swear revenge, & some semblance of a story emerges....
The sound in this print drops out several times.... Lots of scenes of riding & love-ins to stretch out the runtime.... A plot point about one of the girls (possibly the others) living a double life as a girl next door is mentioned but never delved into....
Ends abruptly..
Monday, January 19, 2026
Sunday, January 18, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Black Killer (1971)
Tonight's Stinker
Black Killer (1971)
https://youtu.be/VQ9fXq21y1Y?si=RL6txmmXNGsQFFei
Opens with techno music, & Klaus Kinski in one of the corniest overdubbs I've ever seen in a foreign movie....
So, Kinski pulls into town with a lotta books, all of which have a gun hidden in them... A group of Mexicans with Irish surnames are expecting a government inspector, & at first assume it might be Kinski.... The inspector is supposed to be in on their plan to run people off their land & force them to sign over the deeds, but when the real inspector shows up, they kill him anyway.....
The next day, a gun fighter pulls into town to visit his brother.... Meanwhile, Kinski coerces the local judge to put a warrant on the leader of the Mexi-Irish, & convince the gunfighter to become sheriff.....
Decent action & pacing, though certain plot points are left up to the viewer to figure out.... Kinski's real motives are never fully revealed.... There's also a matter of Kinski, the gunfighter and a blonde bad guy all wear black & have the same haircut, making it hard to recognize certain characters at times.....
Also, about halfway through, the closed captions get ahead of the movie, so you might wanna turn those off.....
Saturday, January 17, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Superargo and the Faceless Giants(1968)
Tonight's Stinker
Superargo and the Faceless Giants(1968)
https://youtu.be/iG5PQASdDs4?si=4fy66-NXfQ7xtsEs
A group of heavyset mimes with helmets like the ones in Santa Claus Conquers The Martians are kidnapping wrestlers & other athletes, so the police call in a red suited luchador who's been taking psychic lessons from his Hindu sidekick....
He sets up a ruse to use a wrestler's sister as bait to capture one of them, but when that backfires, he announces that he's going back into the ring as a ruse to use himself as bait...
He later finds out that a Polish scientist who's now in an insane asylum is tied to it all....
Doesn't idle too much, with plenty of riffable moments, albeit, it looks to be a 4x3 print cut from 16x9, so there are plenty of times the person talking is just off screen, or even a big empty space where two characters are supposed to be having a dialogue..... But the action never happens off screen.....
Sunday, January 11, 2026
Saturday, January 10, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Road Wars(2015)
Tonight's Stinker
Road Wars(2015)
https://youtu.be/z82TkCeoZu8?si=4LWeFYQMgvKopXTU
So, zombies have taken over the world, and a group of survivalists live out in the desert...
One day, a couple of look-outs spot a survivor with amnesia... One of the survivalists believes he might be immune to the zombie virus, & could be the key to a cure....
Meanwhile, the crew tends to bicker a lot, & there's a subplot about a rival gang late in the movie....
Tends to borrow from a few other zombie movies I'm not going to bother with, gets pretentious at times, but it's watchable.....
Tuesday, January 6, 2026
Sunday, January 4, 2026
Saturday, January 3, 2026
Tonight's Stinker: Supersonic Man (1979)
Tonight's Stinker
Supersonic Man (1979)
https://youtu.be/-cx8aMRQqvQ?si=IOwgbQoWUP0RK9mK
Aliens give a blue skinned bodybuilder a new set of tights & send him to Earth to stop mankind from using a new superweapon... Meanwhile, an evil mastermind sends his soldiers and and a robot to steal radioactive material & kidnap a scientist.... The next day, a private eye is watching the scientist's daughter on television, so he borrows a line from Star Wars & turns into Supersonic Man & rescues her from some henchmen.....
Low budget Spanish knock off of Superman.... Got a few giggles out of it.... Most of the explosions, sets & miniature effects are respectable for a low budget movie of the time.....
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