Tonight's Stinker: Zarkorr! The Invader(1996)

Tonight's Stinker Zarkorr! The Invader(1996) https://youtu.be/54ivQh9fHzo?si=4Fh5PoJi4762t9Mp Somewhere in California, a fairly adequate looking kaiju busts out of a mountain & starts destroying some decent looking miniatures.... Meanwhile, in New Jersey, an off duty postal worker is visited by a six inch tall alien disguised as a "teenage mall tramp".... She tells him he's been selected by a superior race to save the Earth from Zarkorr, because he's the most ordinary man on Earth... He decides to enlist the help of a pretty young cryptozoologist who's being interviewed by an unenthusiastic anchor at a local television station, but a series of misunderstandings, and rather dated jokes about postal workers (you had to be there) lead to a standoff with police.... From a pretty blurry VHS rip..... The segments tend to linger for long periods of time, but the jokes and frantic pacing, along with the interspersed scenes of the monster trashing sets, manage to keep it from getting dull

Tonight's Stinker: Terror in the Midnight Sun(1959)

Tonight's Stinker Terror in the Midnight Sun(1959) https://youtu.be/aUn6FdRypjM?si=kiecD7JlnhfY0NcP A meteor crashes somewhere in Sweden, locals see it, then roll opening credits to a corny d00-wap song while some guy skis across the frozen landscape to a telegraph office.... Next, we're introduced to a scientist, the hansom young geologist who'll being joining him & later on, to the mischievous young niece of the scientist, who spends the first half hour teasing the young geologist..... Then there's some hubbub about something killing the local reindeer & finding some giant footprints in the snow... The next day, everyone goes to the crash site & discover the meteor is a spaceship.... The relationship of the aliens inside to the bigfoot creature terrorizing the countryside, their intentions is never fully explained.... Pretty formulaic, with some of the reveals being laughable, & even at a short hour & twelve minutes, is gratingly slow....

Tonight's Stinker: A Noose Is Waiting for You Trinity(1972)

Tonight's Stinker A Noose Is Waiting for You Trinity(1972) https://youtu.be/VLVTonRRwaQ?si=g2rOyEOJToDsMjq4 A gunfighter rides into town, Remembers how his newlywed brother was murdered, finds the killer, & shoots him... Six years later, he rides back into town, finds out about the hardships his wife & kids went through after he left, then kills the killer's three friends.... He rides back to his old home in hopes of winning back his wife & kids, & promises not to use a gun again... Unfortunately, he has to deal with a group of thugs working for a local landgrabber, while Klaus Kinski shows up as a bounty hunter who spends most of his time standing around & watching.... Supposed to be a sequel to an identical film, but really not that original to begin with, just tries to stay sappy most of the time.....

Tonight's Stinker: Hells Angels on Wheels(1967)

Tonight's Stinker Hells Angels on Wheels(1967) https://youtu.be/K_TspgXRbMg?si=be_rocIUpMKVFYfF Hell's Angels cruise around San Francisco, cause some trouble, the pull up to a gas station, where Jack Nicholson works as an attendant.... He gets fired after mouthing off at an impatient customer who doesn't like being one pump over from bikers.... He later shows up at their hangout, where he get in it with one of the Angels when they break his headlamp.... The leader (Adam Roark) breaks it up & offers him a new headlamp if he follows them, to a rumble.... Afterwards, he falls for one of the girls, but she's not into monogamy.... Following a gratingly long party scene, the Angels decide to make Jack a perspective member.... Lots of riding & rumbles, with very little time put into story development.... Failed to sit through this one as a kid, & quickly remembered why.....

Tonight's Stinker: Frankenstein's Daughter(1958)

Tonight's Stinker Frankenstein's Daughter(1958) https://youtu.be/46ecG-LnXLQ?si=VZT2d827O2fdTFD1 A young couple are making out under a tree, then the girl pushes the boy away..... Angry, he gets in his car & drives off, and the girl sees a a woman in a nightie with ugly teeth, bug eyes & huge eyebrows running at her.... Roll opening credits..... The next morning, a young woman wakes up, as her uncle checks in on her.... She complains about a nightmare, then goes to play tennis with some friends.... Meanwhile, the uncle goes to work in his lab on some sort of youth potion or something with his grumpy & dismissive assistant, who's afraid of the police for some reason... Turns out, the assistant has been conducting experiments on the niece behind his bosses back, and the assistant's backstory & intentions only get more convoluted from there..... Pretty goofy most of the time.... At some point the assistant is supposed to be menacing, but looks like he's thumbing through a dirty magazine..... The teenage yuppies are jealous & obnoxious, there's a few musical numbers at a party about an hour in, and the plot seems to wonder all over the place.... Very riffable....

Tonight's Stinker: Hillbillys in a Haunted House(1967)

Tonight's Stinker Hillbillys in a Haunted House(1967) https://youtu.be/5wQwV_6Tpc8?si=rOS6H9vGjoCtMeJq Shortened for RiffTrax.... Ferlin Husky & the busty Joi Lansing play a pair of country singers traveling with their fidgety manager.... They drive right into the middle of a police shootout, & decide they should stop at the next town so the manager can get some rest.... Unfortunately, the next town is abandoned but for a lone gas station owner, who recommends they crash at a nearby abandoned mansion..... They go to the mansion, where John Carradine, Lon Chaney Jr., Basil Rathbone, Linda Ho, & some guy in a gorilla suit play foreign spies who have rigged the place up with everything you'd expect from a haunted house ride... Clipped to just an hour, the riffing over the dialog gets a bit excessive, but doesn't get in the way of story development...... Several musical numbers... watchable.,...

Tonight's Stinker: Missile to the Moon(1958)

Tonight's Stinker Missile to the Moon(1958) https://youtu.be/FDxo09r3wVc?si=-MjyEjFLnxn1xJHJ Some local cops are looking for a pair of escaped convicts.... Meanwhile, an eccentric millionaire scientist argues with a military leader over whether or not his new rocket & all it's innovative new features will work... There's also the tiny matter of the government taking it over & shoving him aside.... The sheriff shows up at the lab & wants to take a look around the property.... While showing the sheriff around, the scientist sees the two convicts hiding in the rocket, but instead of turning them in, he locks them inside & later blackmails them into helping him fly the rocket.... The scientists partner & his fiancé decide to look for him, & get trapped on the rocket when it takes off.... From there, it turns into an unapologetic remake of Cat-Women of the Moon(1953), with a few deviations.... Maintains a decent pace.... While names, costumes, sets, props & even some footage are recycled, many of the characters are more fleshed out, with the two ex-cons adding an interesting dynamic.....