Tonight's Stinker: The Humanoid(1979)

Tonight's Stinker The Humanoid(1979) https://youtu.be/vq4V0L1OLMM?si=VrCSsCxE4yvyuuZs In the distant future, Earth is renamed & under some sort of monarchy... The evil brother of the leader (a cheap knock off or Darth vader, with a mask that look like he got it a a bondage shop) has raised an army & has returned from exile to steal a bioweapon & kill a female scientist (Corinne Cléry)..... Clery's gets a call from an Asian kid she's taking care of, who has psychic powers, who tells her to come home, so the bad guys miss her.... Meanwhile, somewhere in deep space, a pilot (Richard Kiel, with a beard) is stuck on an outdated ship that just blew it's navigation & communication systems... He sees the bad guy's ship & decides to follow it.... The bad guy gets back to his base, run by an evil queen (Barbara Bach), & give the bioweapon to a scientist, who captures the pilot & turns him into Richard Kiel, without a beard, who is now laser proof with super human strength..... They bad guys send him back to Earth, where he grabs guards & throws them around, but the Asian kid uses his psychic powers to turn him back into a good guy.... An awful lot is packed into this movie, so it never gets dull (for me at least)... The sets & miniatures are pretty impressive... Many references to Star Wars... Manages to stay pretty goofy...

Tonight's Stinker: The Aftermath(1982)

Tonight's Stinker The Aftermath(1982) https://youtu.be/WMvEgm_DRqQ?si=FDD7mLhwgNJpuDML A group of astronauts on their way back home can't get in touch with mission control... Cut to a bombed out earth, where Sid Haig runs a gang that kills men & keeps all the women as slaves.... The astronauts decide to ditch their spaceship in the ocean off the coast of California for best visibility, but only two survive, & no one notices... Later that night, the pair gets attacked by mutants, & the next day, they find Los Angeles destroyed; WW3 happened while they were gone.... They find a mansion & settle in, & later one of them changes into some army fatigues & goes out to see if anyone's left... In a museum, he finds a dying curator who leaves him with a young boy... Meanwhile, one of Haig's slave girls escapes... Feels pretty long & meandering, driven by the one astronaut's superfluous narrative.... The first hour is mostly set up before getting in a feud with Haig's gang, leading to a painfully long showdown.... Sorta plays out like like the pilot for a Canadian TV show, even with the sex & violence, all of which is blurred out, & the film turns to black & white every time there's blood in the scene...

Tonight's Stinker: Motorcycle Gang (1957)

Tonight's Stinker Motorcycle Gang (1957) https://youtu.be/QD2vdbdgdig?si=kh75-kuHWr7BIaCH A pair of girls on dirt bikes get in a race with some other dirt bikers, attracting a cop car... After ditching the cops on a dirt road, one of the girls takes a spill, & one of the guys tries unsuccessfully to get in her pants, but she beats him up as the others arrive.... Somehow, they hit it off.... Later that night at the gang's hangout, their old leader shows up looking to kill the new leader after doing prison time for killing a pedestrian, and he's not too wild about the gang now being part of a legitimate racing club... The new girl in town decides to play the field, while the good boy biker dreams of being really good at bike racing, & the bad boy works at ruining it for him... Not too time consuming, but feels pretty grating (or maybe that's just the crick in my neck).....

Tonight's Stinker: Equalizer 2000 (1987)

Tonight's Stinker Equalizer 2000 (1987) https://youtu.be/U7aoFhwNjbA?si=og4M0MMeUnsXn7S7 So, a hundred years after world war 3, Alaska is now a desert, and all the oil is controlled by "The Ownership", a militant government... Meanwhile, they have to deal with rebels... Not wasting any time with story, Slade, who works for The Ownership, follows a group that's sent out to rescue his father from a rebel attack.... But when they get there, an overly ambitious lieutenant betrays the others in hopes of making room for a promotion, while the rebels capture Slade.... Slade escapes, & rescues a woman from some mercenaries, & she takes him to a camp of "Other" rebels who want to be left alone, where he builds a gun with a dozen barrels on it, which not only gives him superior firepower, but also gives him the ability to stand out in the open while shooting.... There's also a group of local indians who fight to be left alone.... Fast paced, & as I said earlier, doesn't waste much time on story, making for a fun watch....

Tonight's Stinker: The Stranger and the Gunfighter(1974)

Tonight's Stinker The Stranger and the Gunfighter(1974) https://youtu.be/qrfK_6dfT2U?si=eJmNE26N1rJuoKE9 Lee Van Cleef is a safecracker in the old west, who accidentally kills a rich Chinese investor who leaves tattoos on the rear-ends of prostitutes.... Inside the safe, Van Cleef finds nothing but the pictures of four prostitutes, and promptly gets arrested.... Cut to China, Lo Lieh is a Kung Fu master who's about as convincing a the Power Rangers at a wrestling match... He's arrested & told his uncle is dead, & the money he was given by the government has disappeared...He's given a year to find the money or his family dies.... Lieh arrives in America just in time to talk to Van Cleef, & rescues him from the gallows...., It's obvious early on that the tattooed derrieres are part of a puzzle, so it's a quest to find the four posteriors... However, a psychotic priest catches on, & hires a fighter of his own...... Interesting mashup of the two genres, particularly towards the end, as most of the first hour is about butt jokes & culture clashes... Some of the aforementioned jokes are well timed & got a giggle or two outa me, albeit, some of the racial tropes are a bit dated.....

Tonight's Stinker: I Wonder Who's Killing Her Now?(1975)

Tonight's Stinker I Wonder Who's Killing Her Now?(1975) https://youtu.be/W0vNw0klxeY?si=V2s9HJavxGTKbxkJ A rich ne'er-do-well loses his job after being caught embezzling, and is given thirty days to pay the money back... He then goes home to his rich wife, only to discover she wants a divorce, with alimony.... After a while, his les than helpful psychiatrist puts the idea of killing his wife in his head, and he sets out to find a hitman... Eventually, he settles for a simpleton with gambling debts.... Unfortunately, the next day, he learns the insurance policy he took out on his wife is null.... He tries to stop the hit, but the simpleton subcontracted the work, as did the subcontractor, as did a litany of subcontractors, so he has to follow his wife to Las Vegas with a group of idiots to find the hitman.... Lots of frantic energy from the lead, which gets exhausting at times, but works out... Some characters play like college students who saw an SNL sketch & thought they could stretch it out for ninety minutes, but it also has plenty of Python-esque moments that get a good laugh....

Tonight's Stinker: Monster a Go-Go(1965)

Sooo, I was gonna watch something in memory of Bud Cort, but changed my mind..... Tonight's Stinker Monster a Go-Go(1965) https://youtu.be/btJoXBIv2SI?si=_eYLD5jjmOkHKPJ9 So, the army's out looking for a lost space capsule, and find it with the astronaut missing.... Turns out, he's soaked up a lot of radiation, lost his mind, and can kill people by touching them, and the army has to find him before he gets too radioactive.... Also, a subplot about a pair of uncommunicative scientists who caused it.... Drags at points, but also has plenty of riffable moments, with an ending that defies suspension of disbelief!!