Tonight's Stinker: The Girl with a Pistol(1968)

Tonight's Stinker The Girl with a Pistol(1968) https://youtu.be/gWfjTx-7e6c?si=kIpUDZeyHPnuEJpF In a small town in Sicily, A man & woman exchange glances while dancing to the radio with friends.... But instead of trying to meet each other in a civil sense, the man sends a pair of cronies to abduct her..... Due to local customs, the need to get married, but first, they end up sleeping together..... She wakes up to find him gone, and shame brought upon her family.... So, she's given a gun & the address and the address of the man, and she sets out for Scotland.... He recognizes her before she can get close & makes a break for it.... She takes a job as a maid & finds out he's gone to Sheffield, Where she meets a rugby player.... At a game, a player is injured, & she finds out the man who left her is driving the ambulance.... While at the hospital, she donates some blood to a man who attempted suicide, who asks her to marry him, but she finds out he's gay.... The entire time, she stresses over how her family will react if she fails to kill the man who scorned her..... The dubbing is abysmal, sometimes talking over the movie while the Italian dialog is still there... The first hour is mostly situational comedy over culture clashes, then changes course in the third act, becoming more of a drama about how the journey has affected her... Has a few slow moments in the beginning, but the pacing evens out as the film progresses.....

Tonight's Stinker: PULGASARI (1985)

Tonight's Stinker PULGASARI (1985) https://youtu.be/guENqa88x4c?si=g1r7cKRFsIaYPbVb A passion project of the late North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-il, and somehow not as big a stinker as learning another cat's living under my house (YUCK!)...... So anyway, a blacksmith in a farming village learns his protégé is the leader of rebel bandits, & he's taking half the town's young men with him.... The next day, a local magistrate shows up saying the king needs more swords, but there's no more Iron, so he has to take all the farming tools & pots & pans, etc..... The villagers protest, then the rebels try to intervene, but the rebels & the old man get captured... As the old man is dying, he sculpts a handful if rice into a tiny figurine.... His daughter receives it, and while sewing a shirt, pricks her finger with a needle & spills a drop of blood onto the figurine, wich comes to life.... The next day, she and her brother find it eating metal in the blacksmith shop, and has now grown to the size of a hand puppet... They find out the leader of the rebels is about to be executed, but when they show up, the hand puppet attacks the guards & eats their swords, growing to the size of some guy wearing a kaiju suit on a break... They return to the village, but they don't like this thing eating their pots & pans, so they run it off.... The king sends an army to take care of the villagers, but they prove to be a formidable force with land slides of rocks, boulders & pointed sticks, so the general decides to starve them out.... It almost works, but Pulgasari comes back, & fights alongside the rebels, & grows to full on kaiju after eating the soldiers' weapons.... The midi-synth soundtrack is pretty grating, & the sword fights are pretty goofy... Still, the pacing is pretty good, and the number of extras in the battle scenes & the kaiju suit indicate some effort was put into this film....

Tonight's Stinker: Three Crosses Not to Die(1968)

Tonight's Stinker Three Crosses Not to Die(1968) AKA Three Crosses of Death (1968) AKA No Graves on Boot Hill https://youtu.be/6ftWH4DawbA?si=9gDNoIHkJ4QLBPAN A man is caught stealing a horse, a philanderer is caught with another man's wife, and a bounty hunter gets in a show down..... A monk witnesses the arrest of all three, and they end up in the same cell as a man set to hang for murder.... Later that night, the monk lets the three men out & introduces them to the condemned man's father, who offers them thirty-thousand dollars for proof of his son's innocence..... They ride on to a town where they have to save the horse thief from a lynch mob, the have to fend off banditos hired to kill them.... They end up in the town where the client's from, where they chase a pair of spies, one running to a rival ranchers property, the other is being a young woman at a grain mill who may know something... Some cliffhanger tension, a few poorly lit fight scenes & a big headache.... Man, I need to get out of this Biker/Spaghetti Western trip I've been on....

Tonight's Stinker: The Hellcats(1968) (MST3K - The Hellcats (S02 E09))

Tonight's Stinker The Hellcats(1968) (MST3K - The Hellcats (S02 E09)) https://youtu.be/o1sQ16BTpDY?si=tDzL-U-J9Qm2tU5I The movie opens with a funeral for a biker, & a couple of cops are watching as they discuss getting the bikers & the drug dealers they're working for.... The next day, a drug deal goes down, as one of the bikers gets a bag from a currier from Mexico, & deliver it to the dealers... On the way back from the drop off, the dealers spots one of the cops, & they shoot him... The cop's brother returns from Vietnam, joins his brother's fiancé, buys a motorcycle, & they infiltrate the biker gang.... There a gratingly long drug & alcohol fueled party, while one of the dealers shows up to tell the dead biker's girl (now acting as leader) about another drug pick up in Mexico.... They move the party somewhere out in the country (again, gratingly long), when a rival gang shows up & challenges one of them to a race we don't get to see, then return for a brief fight.... Then, a test of strength between the alpha male & the soldier... Then the lady in charge invites the cop's girl to ride along on the drug pick up..... Joel & the Bots talk over the most critical dialog, but this movie would be unwatchable otherwise... It's mostly cliché ridden filler for the first hour, but the music's okay, considering....

Tonight's Stinker: The Unholy Four(1970)

Tonight's Stinker The Unholy Four(1970) https://youtu.be/nlaxN6OoiZQ?si=3roTfOJMyOXN2qIK In an old west town, the payroll arrives after dark.... Across the street a pair of guards at an asylum step out from behind the gates & discuss robbing the bank while a pair of bandits sneak up & knock them out.... They set the asylum on fire as a distraction while other bandits rob the payroll..... In the chaos, four of the inmates escape, a gambler who's good with a rifle, a black strongman, a knife thrower & an amnesiac.... As the bandits ride out, one of them is shot, sees the four, & before he dies, says the4 amnesiac's name.... The next day, a boss meets up with the bandits for a split of the money, but he has them killed.... Meanwhile, the escapee's are hiding in a church... The knife thrower knows the amnesiac's name, but refuses to say it, only where he's from.... They get cornered by bounty hunters, whom they elude in a forest, kill them & take their guns, clothes & horses.... As they ride out, they find the bandits, one of whom tells them that the loot was taken to the same town the amnesiac's from.... So, that's where they go, finding a feud between two families, & the amnesiac belonged to one of them...... co-stars George Eastman AKA Luca Montefiori... A bit underwhelming, with a disappointing soundtrack....