Thursday, September 29, 2011
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
I'm for communication & gathering. Of late I've been learning of those who are opposed to increases & improvements in communication. In my attempts to get back in the loop, I was reminded why it's called that. I first assumed the problem was with cliques. I eventually found the problem is with a few seperate, autocratic individuals. They believe, for their own concerns, that communication need be reserved for the select few. Not that their concerns are unfounded, but amidst their other responibilties, their role in communicating has been consistantly neglected, even in matters critical to everyone. It's my hope, that the clear & obvious need for broader, more open, & perhaps more diversified communication be recognized, and that those who would recognize this, not be discouraged by these autocratic individuals in your quest to create a greater sense of community & trust.
Holdin' up the ol' InfoTainment Tent on WRIR 97.3fm 'til 5! http://www.wrir.org/
Saturday, September 24, 2011
"If Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston couldn't make it, what chance do the rest of us have?" My mom always tells me I really need a woman in my life. Every few months, the landlady comes around with the bug sprayers & sees how crappy my apartment is, and she tells me that I really need a woman in my life. Then she calls my mom & tells my mom how crappy my apartment is, and they both end up agreeing that I really need a woman in my life. The cashier at the local supermarket sees me buying three packs of hot dogs & sliced swiss every week, and she always tells me that I really need to find me a woman. "First love is kind of like your first time on skis; You fall down a lot, and it doesn't last long." - Edie Brickell The closest thing I ever had to a girlfriend (if you can call it that) was this fat broad that used to call me up every time she needed a ride. That was about fifteen years ago. I wore out two motorbikes being her taxi service. Then in '93 I had to move to another state. She never did return any of my phone calls or respond to any of my letters. I even went so far as to send her a S.A.S.E. with a brief questionair. Nada. "All I can say is, LOVE STINKS!" - The J. Giels Band Of course I kept trying & getting nowhere, but 'round about '95 things got way worse. It seems every time I hit the town, I kept getting hit on by homsexuals. It kept on like that, so round about '98 I just gave up & bought myself some magazines. "If you're a shy, lonely teen or young adult, you can't fly like an eagle if you're busy runnin' your mouth with a bunch of phony phone sex turkeys. If their so swingin', what are they doin' talkin' to YOU on a Friday or Saturday night?" - Webb Wilder, the idol of idle youth and burnin' god of love There are occasions that I'll find myself lamenting bachelorhood at thi- well, at my age, and then I'll get some kind of reminder that things could always be worse. Usually, it's this guy at work who's currently on wife 6 who always has some crazy story about wives 3 & 5. But the thing that's left the biggest impression on me so far, was finding a copy of Santa Claus (1959) at the DollarTree last year. Santa Claus (1959) After sitting through five hours (actually ten minutes that feels like five hours) of Santa's elementry school play from Hell, I now have a greater understanding of why some of my some of my old friends started getting kinda crabby after they got married & had kids. "A rose in a cow pasture is still a rose, just watch your step" By now, you're probably thinking "I'm glad I'm not THIS loser", and in that regard, I hope you find it somewhat uplifting, but at this point in my life I like to think that I've got it made; Nobody to bug me about my favorite moth eaten shirt, nobody hogging the remote, nobody to bug me about what I eat, when I eat it or in which room I eat it, nobody to... nobody to... Eh, who am I kiddin'. BAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If life gives you lemons, but life doesn’t give you any water, & it doesn’t give you any sugar, & it doesn’t give you a strainer, & it doesn’t give you any ice, & it doesn’t give you a pitcher, then what the heck are you supposed to do with all these *&%$@! lemons?
The other day, as I was finishing my coffee, I decided to step outside to check the weather before heading to work. During a pause in the torrents, leftover raindrops sprinkled from the oak tree in my back yard. I looked up the see a squirrel, shaking the rain off the leaves, as he jumped from branch to branch. It was working it's way to branches closer to me, so I said "Hey, watch it!" The squirrel then jumped to a branch right overhead, shaking water onto me as it climbed towards the edge. I took another slug of my coffee, & decided to finish it inside, just in case the squirrel decided to drop something "else" on me.
I reach to the pallet, then to the line, sweat falling like rain from my naked scalp, careful not to get any on the product. Body & soul at one with the thousands of hinges, pulleys & springs, yet my mind so polarized against the jerk behind the control panel, & the skunk who looks down from the mezzanine, from behind the glass of their air conditioned office, safely out of my long wide reach... And I could, if they sat on the pallet, stuff their bodies down the mouth of the behemoth that's eaten part of my soul... BUT, last I heard, they got a boot in the @$$, same as me, so... :-\
Little Cerberus awoke one morning to find himself dead, or rather, that he had passed away during the night, thus joining the ranks of the undead. Despite the discouraging situation, he decided to get up & get dressed, and, typical of his morning routine, lit up a cigarette. But to his chagrin, he found that, in being dead, he wasn't breathing, and thus, couldn't inhale the smoke. So, he crushed out his cigarette, having an epiphany that maybe it was a good thing, as zombies tend to catch fire. He thought for a few minutes, & decided he should probably be out on the street eating brains. He looked out the window, then at his watch. It was Saturday at 6:00am, so there probably wouldn't be that many people out just yet, so he decided to check his email first. Mostly the usual newsletters & digests & whatnot, but nothing important, and he figured he may as well check for any new porn. Unfortunately, being dead, he came to learn, included the lil' soldier, so he decided to hit the streets early. He roamed around for a few hours with no success, encountering mostly people doing yard work (with, of course, their large, sharp yard tools), a few unsavory looking characters of which he was still quite apprehensive, and a few unattended children which he really didn't think he could kill & eat without feeling guilty. Being his first day as a zombie, Little Cerberus wasn't to sure about this whole cannibalism thing anyway, and decided what he was really in the mood for, was a kielbasa in a bun, drenched in cheddar sauce from a nearby convenience store. But when he got there, all they had left were some day old taco fingers. He wasn't really hungry anyway, so he just bought a newspaper & went home. And from there, just sat at the kitchen table for the next hundred years stinking up the place. At one point, someone tried to break in, but they were driven off by the smell. After about a century of sitting there, rereading the same paper, he started getting regular visits from reporters & documentarians & the like, wanting his perspective on the events leading up to the Great Eastern Peace Accord of 2013, only to reveal that he didn't find out about it until eight years afterwords, when somebody made a TV movie about it, & that, at the time, the news was dominated by flooding in the Midwest & the indiscretions of some senator from Nebraska with over 700 adult film stars, while the common man was more concerned with a recent outbreak of avian herpes & a proposed amendment to the capital gains tax. They always left disappointed, but that didn't stop them from coming back & asking the same stupid questions, about the same stupid topics, that in Little Cerberus' day nobody really cared about, or even knew about. Eventually, the property taxes got kinda' steep, & Little Cerberus wound up having to sublet his basement out to a vampire, who happened to be a vegetarian with some weird thing for chocolate bars dipped in ketchup, but that's another story.
A little over a month ago, a friend suggested I take up writing. I used to try that, but haven't really been inspired for the past few years. Instead, I think I'll spend the next few days trying to round up some of my old stuff & post it here. just for a start...
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Holdin' up the ol' InfoTainment Tent on WRIR 97.3fm 'til 5! http://www.wrir.org/